I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
