Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am available for nakedness
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
