i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
