Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize