i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
