she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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