your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
