either way he was missing a nipple.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
