she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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