but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
