I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
