I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I deserve this hangover.
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