after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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