would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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