K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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