i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
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