i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
