I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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