oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
