I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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