I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
