It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
