I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
