Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
