I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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