Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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