I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I understand Curling. That high.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
