I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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