remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
