Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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