the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
