It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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