wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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