I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
