a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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