i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My cat gives me a boner
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
