Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
