he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
