Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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