what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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