do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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