drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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