We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
