I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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