I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
