Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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