Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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