I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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