I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
