Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize