How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
