another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize