ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
