people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
