kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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