If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
