For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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