I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
