Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
