come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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