I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
