You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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