He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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